An S.O.S. from my hair

I despretly need a haircut and a new hairstyle. Anyone have any suggestions or good websites to check out?

I don't want a repeat of last year...

What I Did on My Holiday Break...

Dec. 21: WORK HOLIDAY PARTY. Kind of lame. Made a cheesecake which no one ate. I just uncomfortably sat around a too-small room since I didn't really know anyone. Luckily the head of the Art History program and the head of the department recognized me so they chatted with me a while so it wasn't a total bust. Plus I received my first X-mas present from a collegue: a book entitled "Watch Your F*cking Language: How to swear effectively...". It came in handy for the rest of the holidays what with family around...

Dec. 22-23: CLEANING. Really, how does a one bedroom apartment get trashed so easily and take two days to clean?! I don't know either but it does.

Dec. 23: FIRST GUESTS ARRIVE. My sister and her husband were driving from Toledo after staying the day with my brother and his family. At around 8:30 pm there was a knock at the door...of course I thought it was them so I start jumping up and down and yelling and throw open the door-it was a surprised and extremely confused looking UPS guy. Apologized and tried to explain...more weird looks. Received 2nd X-mas gifts. Pictionary and Scattegories from Zak's sister.

Sister and brother-in-law finally arrive at around 10 pm. We chat and go to bed.

Dec. 24: CHRISTMAS EVE. Get up and actually go running! Don't worry it only happened once this break thus far...Hang out and eat lunch and chat with our visitors. Most of my time is spent protecting my sister from the cat who attacked her at every chance.

Played Yatzee (lost), Scrabble (won), and Monopoly (came in second) then ordered Chinese and made our famous Holiday punch. Well, famous to us since it contains an entire bottle of gin plus other spirits and causes at least one of us, if not all, to pass out at the end of the night. Continue to play games, Pictionary (won) and poker (lost). With the addition of alcohol, knowledge from first x-mas present is used in abundance.

Dec. 25: CHRISTMAS. Get up way to early and open gifts. Got alot of great stuff. Spend the rest of the day eating, drinking, and playing with gifts. Oh and naps. Many, Many naps. Cat plays in tissue paper for a while and then uses it as a baracade to swipe at people as they walk by.

Later that evening watch Lord of the Rings I and II.

Parents arrive LATE that night. More gifts, more alcohol, and more poker (won). Cat attacks dad and he almost loses a finger.

Dec. 26: BOXING DAY. Sleep in and make lunch. Proceede to watch Lord of the Rings III. Then go do a little after x-mas shopping. Pick up cute wrapping paper, ribbons, and holiday cards for next year. More x-mas punch and Poker that night (lost big time-I blame the punch...oh, and the chocolate).

Dec. 27: DAY I'M OFFICIALLY EXHAUSTED. Get up early and hang out catching up with the family. Then pass out due to lack of sleep. Later that night try to go to see Harry Potter on the IMAX with mom and sis-it's SOLD OUT!! I'm devistated.

Return home to order pizza and watch "March of the Penguins." I'm so sorry...but I hated it! Even around the holidays I'm a heartless wretch. Everyone falls asleep in the living room until my brother in law accidently drops an entire large box of clay poker chips. Cat, who was sitting on me, uses the right side of my body (and face) as a launching pad. Fear I will be scared for life.

Dec. 28: MARCH OF THE VISITORS. Get up early to help my family pack up their vehicles to get started on their trek home. Go to breakfast-place is packed with screaming kids and adults. Everone finally leaves after breakfast and Zak and I are free!! Go to Borders to purchase Harry Potter day planner. Return home and sleep. Cat does happy dance.

Dec. 29: GERMS. Wake up feeling sick. Family must have brought germs from young nephews in Ohio since they seem to be carriers of every flu/cold bug known to man. Sleep the entire day. So does the cat, who seems to be enjoying having her apartment back. So much that she takes naps every possible place to redistribute her scent...under the tree, every chair, every part of the couch, in the bathroom, on the bed, under the bed, and on the kitchen table.

Dec. 30: GERMS II. Still sick. Continue search for Harry Potter IMAX tickets-all sold out. Sleep the rest of the day.

So that's pretty much it. I'm hoping I'll be feeling better tomorrow so I can have a nice new years eve but who knows. Maybe the cold meds and the alcohol will make it that much more fun. Keep an eye out in the papers...especially for ones like "Drunk Woman, stressed from family, holidays, and germs, tries to scale Washington Monument. Knocks over National X-mas tree in process."

Two for Two

It's okay...you can laugh 

Usually I can get through the winter without falling once but for some reason, this year, it's snowed twice and I've fallen both times. It's two for two. I'm thinking of getting my inner ear checked...

This fall was so funny/bad/complicated that I felt it necessary to include an illistration. You can see by my skills (or lack there of) why I stick to art history and leave studio art for the talented.

So, here's the story...Last Thursday I was leaving for work and found, when I stepped out the front door, that the light snow that had fallen that morning was now mixing with the rain and creating a dangerous concoction. Thus, with bag, keys, and umbrella in hand I timidly stepped onto the first step of my slushy front stairs. I even grabbed onto the hand railing (which ended up being part of my down fall).

I immediatly slipped-but instead of my feet slipping OUTWARD (like normal) so I would fall on my ass, they slipped INWARD so that I feel down the flight of steps on my knees while my shins, ankels, and feet followed behind me....like some S/M version of a sled. So, as I was seated completly on my knees I could actually feel my leg muscles stretch much more than they ever should.

In addition (as if this weren't bad enough) I'd forgotten to let go of the railing as I slid down so my upper body and back was stretched in the opposite direction. The fall either looked really cool (like some impressive Madonna dance move) or really bad. It was either one or the other. Luckily I was able to get up (barely) and hobble my way to the car. I've already made it past the horrid back spasms and am only left with nasty brusises on both knees and ankles.

So enjoy-really I blog because I hope that people will get enjoyment out of my stupidity and pain.

Zombiesque

I don't know why I do things...I went to the midnight showing of King Kong last night with Zak and some friends from work. We got home at about 3:30 am, were in bed by around 4 and had to get up at 6 am to get ready for work.

Good thing it was worth it. Not that the movie was SUPER great (even though the effects were amazing) but the company was excellent.

Even so, today I join the ranks of the walking dead. I'm pretty sure coffee. nor anything else, is going to pull me out of this.

Plus,it's Zak and my 3 year anniversary. We're going to have to take naps before our dinner tonight...

Happy (Belated) Birthday!

Ooopsy! I forgot to post this on the 12th but HAPPY BIRTHDAY AB!!!!

I'm such a horrible person....but welcome to the world of having Chezlynne as a friend-you always get your birthday card late. So really, it's a weird compliment.

Lesson Learned...

I am obviously enjoying running too much and someone (the fates, god, fortune, Santa…) is trying to teach me that snow fall and running DO NOT mix.

I’ve become too addicted they’re trying to say. To addicted to the 30-45 min/day when all my thoughts melt away (the million papers I have to grade, the fact that after reading only 1/3 of those papers I will already want to shoot myself in the face due to the bad grammar and half jumbled thoughts, the job offer I just got that I’m probably going to turn down even thought it’s more money that we really need, the fact that I didn’t get any sleep last night). All those thoughts gone and instead I can just focus on the fact that I can’t breathe and my muscles hurt.

Ahhhh…but it was so nice today. We’d just had another nice snow fall and everything was still covered so of course I was ready to be out in it. Yet again, I reassure you, running and snow don’t mix….

About a mile and a half into my run disaster struck. I hit an invisible patch of ice and was down for the count. It was a big fall too. I think I caught air and I’d be really surprised if there’s not a crack there come summer. Thus the rest of the “run” turned into a walk/hobble as I tried my best to keep my balance on the slippery walk ways.

After another half a mile I gave up and decided to walk in the road since it was clear of any ice or snow. So, I step on an innocent looking, fluffy patch of snow to make my way over to the pavement and….it was covering an ankle deep puddle! So for the last quarter mile I had to hobble with freezing sopping wet feet and pant leg bottoms.

But now I’m home. Warm and toasty and I’m thinking instead of using running as a relaxation technique maybe vegging out on the couch would work better for me. There the only risk of injury I have is falling from the couch in a daytime television induced haze and the only risk of getting wet is when I dribble ice cream down my front.

Snow!!

Ahhhh...finally. It finally snowed here and it is so pretty! Nothing else puts me in the right mood for the holidays like snow. Last night I curled up to read and watched one of my favorite holiday movies and today I wrote out Holiday cards and wrapped presents. See! Instant holiday spirit. Now I think I'll try to go running in it-and hope not to break my ass-the only downfall I supoose of the winter wonderland.

However, in my old, jaded, crotchity age I've found that snow is really one of the only things I enjoy about this time of year. So enough being in a good mood...here's a list of things I hate about this time of year-Much more fun.

1. Those stupid Coca-Cola commercials with the polar bears listening to the Beach Boys. Polar bears are mean, people! They would eat the Beach Boys given half a chance. Why, oh why would the Coke company decide they are the best to market winter cola?! Yeah, that's just what I want, for Polar bears to add insult to injury after they attack and kill me, and drink my last soda.

2. Radio stations that play Christmas music ALL DAY. It's just wrong. Sure, I enjoy a good rendition of O'Holy Night and Baby,it's Cold Outside but do I need to hear all the other crap the whole day? Absolutly not. Mix my Christmas music with the Sex Pistols and The White Stipes...Please.

3. The Mall. There's no way I'm setting foot in any mall again until February. Why not just jump into the polar bear exhibit at the zoo? At least they'd have something to drink.

4. Winter traffic. Maybe it's just the DC metro area but people cannot drive here when it snows. Even if it's a light smattering of snow that is more like rain. Traffic slows to a crawl and people turn into idiots behind the wheel. Don't make me run you off the road people...at least speed up to 45. I promise you won't spin out of control when your SUV hits a puddle.

5. Figuring out what to say in your Christmas Cards. I acutally enjoy sending and recieving holiday cards but it's brutal figuring out the one run-on sentance that is going to sum up the last year of your life AND spread good cheer to your friends and family. Am I allowed to just initial at the bottom or is that rude?

6. Cookie Exchanges. Oh! What's that dear? You need 3-5 dozen cookies(!)to participate in your office's cookie exchange. Here's a friggin' box of oreos. Go wild.

7. Wearing big ass winter coats. That's right, I don't have enough trouble showing a good side of my figure without added 10 pounds of down and/or wool.

8. Hats. Often they're a necessity to ensure you don't freeze to the death but I don't not look good in hats AND whenever I wear one it makes my bangs all sweaty and stick to my forehead. Thus I look gross during and after the stupid winter hat is on my head.

9. The horrid puppet/claymation Christmas movies I used to enjoy as a child. If I have to watch Rudolf the Red-Nosed Raindeer one more time I'm going to freak out. Plus, for some reason Yukon Cornelius and Clarice really creep me out now.

10. The extra 10 pounds I am bound to put on this year due to cookies, candies, and booze that I will consume even with my attempts to be healty and exercise. Need I say more? I think not.

Lynne and Stacy like lists...

TEN random things you might not know about me

1. I think the burrito is nature's perfect food.

2. I prefer not to wear socks.

3. (related to above) I have to sleep with my feet uncovered.

4. I've always wanted natural brown hair and brown eyes.

5. I have an unforgivable mean streak.

6. I baby-talk to my cat. But I'm not proud of it.

7. I get motion sick at the drop of a hat. Seriously, I could watch someone drop a hat and it would make me nauseous.

8. My favorite color is yellow

9. I hate licorice.

10. I'm not a big fan of chocolate.

NINE places I've visited

1.Blogger capitol of the world; Minneapolis, MN

2. The Sistine Chapel

3. The Eiffel Tower

4. The Call of the Wild Museum in Gaylord, MI

5. The London Eye

6. The Leaning Tower of Pisa

7. OzFest (1998 in Detroit, MI)

8. Hershey, PA

9. Yankee Stadium

EIGHT ways to win my heart

1. Tell me I'm funny.

2. Tell me I'm cute.

3. Tell me I've bewitched you body and soul (sorry, just saw Pride & Prejudice)

4. Tell me I'm smart.

5. Share my passionate hatred of morning alarms, seafood, and the low rise pant phenomenon.

6. Share my love of spaghetti westerns, scary movies, X-files, and/or Harry Potter.

7. Find my stories absolutly fascinating.

8. Think that staying in one's pajamas for an entire day is endearing not lame, pathetic, or gross.

SEVEN things I want to do before I die.

1. Travel to Egypt

2. Write a book

3. Finish my masters and perhaps a Ph.D.

4. Run a marathon

5. Travel to Machu Pichu

6. wrestle an alligator

7. Go to the oscars

Six things I'm afraid of:

1. Being in a plane crash only to survive and become stranded in the middle of the ocean and after days adrift to be swallowed by a whale or eaten by a shark.

2. Ghosts

3. Getting another bad haircut that will take me a year to grow out.

4. People who only listen to music without words.

5. Never reaching my full potential

6. marionettes

FIVE things I don't like

1. Rude people

2. any kind of seafood

3. doing dishes

4. earmuffs

5. man's inhumanity to man

Three things I do everyday
1. run

2. shower

3. check my e-mail

TWO things that make me happy
1. My fmaily and friends

2. my job

ONE thing on my mind right now
1. My botched blackberry beignets. I swear I used to be a good cook. I don't know what happened.