Happy Birthday HotBabe!!!

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday, dear HotBabe,
Happy Birthday to you.

Cheers to you Friend!! Here's hoping you're already drunk and have been for the past few days on drinks purchased by hot young men. Here's hoping you gorged yourself on Triple Layer Fudge Cake and Pumpkin Spice Frappacinos. Here's hoping you got lots of presents and that there's more on the way. Here's hoping you didn't have to go to class this weekend. And here's to you, the best HotBabe out there!!

Happy 29th!!

Things I Discovered at 5:30 AM

So you all know by now that I'm not a morning person. So why would I get up at 5:15 AM on a Friday to go running with Lady Di? Well, I don't know either but in a moment of weakness and obvious delerium I agreed to it.

But I'm actually glad I did because I've found that you can learn a lot of new things by leaving the apartment at 5:30 AM.

In a surprising moment of clarity I discoverd that:

1. Traffic is actually pretty busy around my place at 5:30 AM. I was really stunned at all the cars. I know I was dumb enough to get up that early but I guess a lot of other people are too. Very interesting.

2. Busses run that early in the morning. People were waiting patiently at the corner bus stop and a bus even stopped to pick them up. Who knew?

3. Coincidence is God's way of saying "Howdy". I can't take credit for this since it was on a church's billboard but at 5:30 AM it actually made sense. Now...not so much.

4. I should probebly just toss the sick science experiement that is likely to be taking place in the trunk of my car when I decided to throw a half eaten apple core into a day old fast-food cup of flat Diet Coke and then forget about it. I haven't had the courage to look in the cup but it stinks and I'm pretty sure it tried to bite me when I opened the trunk to get my long-sleeved running shirt out.

5. Early morning runners are either really nice or really crazy. Fellow jogging strangers would say "good morning" to me as they passed. Weird.

6. If I start running at 5:45 in the morning I can actually run just shy of 2 miles without stopping to walk or rest. Eventhough I couldn't keep up with Lady Di or her running partner I was still pretty proud of myself. I think I have the time to thank since that early my mind and body doesn't function at its fullest so I probebly couldn't quite feel by muscles buring or recognize the fact that I was about to die.

Even so, I'm still torn if I'll ever do it again. Do I really need to discover anything else?

Gross IV

At least, I think I'm on #4 in my series of posts entitled "Gross"...

After all the times I've been grossed out by others I finally have to admit my own grossness to the world. I'm so ashamed.

After what must have been about two weeks of festering in a crockpot in my refrigerator I finally decided it was time to throw out a foiled beef experimentation. Really, is two weeks that long?

So what if it was slightly frozen and starting to seperate. And so what if when I was ungracefully trying to dump it into the trash that the garbage bag shifted and the whole thing splattered on the floor making me want to wretch.

Like you've never done the same thing! Stop judging me!

The Fog-best seen from the very beginning

I recently went to the theater and while watching the previews took a small trip down memory lane.
Hollywood is making a remake of The Fog-did anyone see the original as a kid like me?
I remember it distinctly...my sister had a slumber party and, being the bratty little sister I was, I tagged along. During this time we had a laser disk player-did anyone else's family have a laser disk player? I remember my sister popping in the laser disk and shutting off the lights to watch a scary movie: The Fog. We watched and watched and watched and were so confused...what the hell was going on? After finished we'd decided the movie had no plot and was the dumbest thing we'd ever seen. Little did we know that night that we had put the laser disk in backwards and had watched the second half of the movie only.

Stupid laser disks. No wonder they never caught on. How do you make a movie product in which there is no way to tell if you are starting it from the beginnig or the middle. So I might actually have to go see this movie so I can finally see it in its entirety. I'm curious to see if it's actually good if you see it from the beginning. My initial guess would be no but then again, they are doing a remake...wait, scratch that. Hollywood also made a remake of Rollerball and Bedazzled...

It's Official

I'm an official resident of Maryland...again.
Even though it's great to have my car registered and my new drivers liscence the joy is always dampened by the three hours spent at the DMV. Yuck.

And my picture look like total shit...of course. I've decided I'm just going to start purposefully looking like crap in my pictures that way it's purposefully funny instead of accidently sad and pathetic.
I look deranged and surprised in the newest ID picture. Of course this is because they take the friggin picture as soon as you stand up and turn around and don't give you even a second to adjust bangs or practice your smile.

Rat Bastards!!!

I really must be psychic

So, of course, since I brought up the fact this weekend that I haven't changed my drivers license to Maryland yet or renewed my, now, long expired license plates that I would get pulled over this morning on my way to work.

Yup, that's right. So in addition to being clocked going 71 in a 55 I also had improper tags. Son of a Bitch! And I know this happened just because I opened my big mouth and made fate look my way. When the officer pulled me over I knew I was busted. In fact, I was totally in shock since I'd totally called it and was wondering if I was going to start to see dead people next. I didn't even lie or make any excuses..."I clocked you going 71 in a 55" "Ooops". "Did you realize you're registration is expried." "Ooops-I guess I did." By the time he came back to the car for the 3rd time I had even come to grips with the fact that I would rejoice if the ticket was under $500. I don't even want to think how much the ticket would have been had the officer actually given it to me. He must have taken pity on a new commer to MD (I told him I just moved to the area) or maybe I just looked more sweet and innocent than usual today.

Whew. By the seat of my pants, my friends. But I guess this means I'll have to spend my day off at the dreaded DMV. Luckily I have this ESP so I'll be able to sense when it won't be busy...oh yeah, never.

Makes Cujo Look Like a Plush Toy

Bad Doggie! 

So, if you been hanging out at ChezLynne for a while you probebly already know my bad luck when it comes to dogs and jogging. Or anything and jogging for that matter. Well, the dogs in Maryland have finally caught wind of my fear and the stories, thus, continue...

Recently I started major jogging again-after a fairly long hiatus since it's way to friggin' hot in DC. Finally the weather has started to cool and last week I ran about 10 miles (about 1-1 1/2 miles every day). I decided to lenghten my route to the dreaded 2 miles and that's when I ran into the two cujos.

I swear poodle and poodle like dogs are the most vicious out there. I was running, minding my own business when suddenly two dogs that look just like the one above-except with the addition of what I swear were blood soaked fangs-lunged at me through their fenced in yard. I have never heard such growling and barking and snarling. I just know they were about to jump the fence and then fight over who got to make the kill shot to my jugular.

Luckily they weren't there today when I went past (of course I made sure I was on the other side of the street this time). You'd think this would make me feel better but it actually worries me. They're just too busy right now planning an attack-one that will ensure that no one finds my body until next spring. In addition to being vicious, poodles are clever.

Any Shred of Authority or Dignity-Now Lost

I'm pretty sure I've lost any kind of power I held over my students or any kind of dignity I ever felt I had after tonights class.

I'm pretty sure, when I used the bathroom during break, that I forgot to zip up afterwards. Yup. So that means it was an hour and a half of my unzpipped zipper being noticed, scoffed at, and talked about for, I'm sure, years to come. See, I told you the knickname would morf in due time. Now I'll be known as "that slow girl that teaches art history with her pants unzipped". Do you think people would believe me if I told them I do that because it helps me think?

And to add insult to injury, of course I was wearing the bright pink pasley undies. No, I couldn't just go with black that would have just blended in with my pants...nope...*pink* *paisley*!

Post HotBabe Visit Funk

Don't you hate that? The feeling you get after something you were so excited about has come and gone and you're just left with the blahs. Darn you Hotbabe! Why couldn't you stay in DC?!

Well, you know what this means...someone else has got to come for a visit. Put on your travel pants and your driving gloves fellow bloggers 'cause I need some more visitors!!

Wish You Were Here

The visit from HotBabe is going spledidly! I really hope she's having a good time.

That's what I worry about most when people come to visit-that they are totally bored. But Jen promises she's having a good time so I guess I should believe her.

Yesterday I picked her up and we went to The Cheesecake Factory. Yum. We also went to a Nationals game and gorged on beer, soda, and bad pizza and hotdogs. Luckily we had cheesecake waiting for us when we got back home so dinner was not a total flop.

Today we're going to Georgetown to shop. Yay! They hitting some bars and restaurants tonight including one from the famed X-files movie. I'm going to find the bar stool David Duchovny sat at and lick it. Shut up. It's not weird.

I'm sure there'll be more stories from tonight as well as embarassing pictures to post this week so you can all live vicariously. Wish all the bloggers were here with me and Jen to have a grand time together!!