Ignorence Was Bliss

I really, really thought that I actually wanted to know just how many calories I was injesting when I went to Chipotle...but now that I do...I'm just depressed.

Check it out...if you dare.

Hello, My Name Is: Idiot

This is the name tag I'm considering wearing around the college from now on. My second day of teaching and I'm pretty sure I've already been dubbed "that slow girl who teaches art history".

This is because I somehow left my car keys in the bathroom for about 3 hours. I used the bathroom as soon as I got to work, reminded myself not to forget them hanging on the back of the door, and walked out without them. I then proceeded to teach my 2 hour class and only realize they're missing as I'm about to leave.

Luckily someone turned them into the office but unluckily that I had to go retrieve them from the secretary, whom I'm pretty sure hates me. I got major evil eye as she reluctantly gave them back to me. I think she was hesitant since the key ring also had the sacred mailbox key on it too. I'm positive she was ready to revoke my mailbox privledges.

I wonder what else I will end up doing to get an even worse knickname...

I am so not a morning person

It has begun. I'm already bitching about having to get up before 8 AM and I've only had to do it twice. But it's because I've officially decided (yes, officially) that I was meant to work the graveyard shift at some weird place that has graveyard shifts.
I don't understand why I'm more comfortable staying up all night and sleeping all day when the whole world is on the reverse schedule. Even so, I'm trying by best to switch to being a normal person but it's not quite working.

Case in point, this morning: First morning freak out was my super loud alarm. So loud that I'm pretty sure someone could mistake it for a jet engine. I have to set it at blare or I'll totally sleep through it. It has to be so loud that it actually jolts me out of bed, wide eyed, and scared. So much so that I actually yell, "Oh, God" and think frantically what that horrid sound could be. Yup, this actually happened this morning. And no matter how long I've had the same alarm, every time it jolts me out of bed it seems to shake the knowledge of how to shut the damn thing off in a timely fashion.

Next...after my pupils get back to normal and the pounding in the head subsides I shuffle off to the bathroom for a shower. Freak out number two when I discover a weird centipied type bug in the tub and have to catch and flush it in the toilet. Of course this makes me parinoid that one of his little friends is going to seek revenge and attack me while I take a shower. So when some of my hair gets wrapped around my finger I freak out again thinking it's the rouge centipied.
More heartpalpitations and an increasing head ache.

I need to start drinking coffee first thing...and I mean first thing. I'm thinking of setting myself on an IV drip during the night so my damn alarm isn't such a surprise.

Like a Theif in the Night

I stole this from Kiddo, Christine, Stacy...and others I'm sure.

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. Finish my Masters
2. Get my Ph.D.
3. See the Pyramids of Gizah and Teotihuacan.
4. Write a book.
5. Meet David Duchovny
6. Buy a Jaguar
7. Learn to fix my own car.

Seven things you can't do:
1. Whistle
2. Do any kind of handstand or summersault
3. swim
4. spend a day with my husband without getting in some sort of fight or argument
5. eat fish/seafood
6. drive 55
7. wear new shoes without getting blisters

Seven things you can do:
1. play the trumpet
2. overhand serve a volleyball
3. sleep through anything (including hurricanes and alarms)
4. speak French
5. remember phone numbers like a computer
6. drive a tractor
7. pick things up with my toes

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex
1. sense of humor
2. friendly smile
3. intelligence
4. good expressive eyebrows
5. tallness (is that a word?)
6. being passionate about things
7. kindness

Seven things you say most:
1. Rat Bastard!
2. Oh No...
3. Ya Know?
4. Wow.
5. That's Hilarious!
6. Bite my big fat ass
7. crazy...

seven celebrity crushes:
1. David Duchovny (what a surprise...)
2. Elijah Wood
3. Johnny Depp (when he's dirty and greasy)
4. Vince Vaughn
5. Alan Rickman
6. Colin Firth
7. Matt Damon

Seven people you want to take this quiz:
1. Diane
2. DC Donut
3. HotBabe (have you been tagged yet?)
4., 5., 6., 7. Anyone who hasn't been tagged yet.

Great Weekend-Great First Day of School

Well, except for the fact that our internet was down all weekend I had a pretty good time.
I went shopping for new clothes and shoes to wear for my new teaching job. I got these great shoes (they look cuter in person and were a lot cheaper)as well as a cute skirt and two boring pairs of pants.

I also got a haircut-one that I actually liked. I think the lady was actually able to even out my last bad haircut.

And today, the first day of class, was a hit. Well, by hit I mean none of my students fell asleep during the lecture today and seemed to understand everything. Keep you fingers crossed that they'll keep up the good work.

And to top it all off...it's K-State Katie's Birthday!! Happy Birthday Katie!

Blogging Rut

Ugh! I've been so off my blogging game lately!! It's just been so boring around here that I have nothing funny or even interesting to say. But rest assured, I'm sure the rut will stop once I start my new job and have lots of crazy and embarrassing stuff to talk about...which is usually what happens when I'm in public places. So until then, sorry I have a feeling I'll be a bit boring.

Sorry, You Won't be Getting Books for Christmas this Year

I GOT THE JOB!!!

I'm so excited. I'm going to be teaching two art history courses this semester! Sorry, I guess this means my friends and family should stop making those book/cd/dvd lists because I'm not going to be getting that discount after all.

Here's my next dilema. Do I just totally blow off Barnes and Nobel and stop showing up? Or do I play it nice and give them a call? Ugh.

Wish me Luck!

It never fails. Everytime I take a crappy job I immediatly get an interview for a job I want.
When I had just moved to Detroit I gave up hope and took a job in Visitor Services (blah) at the Detroit Institute of the Arts. At least I was techinically working at a museum. However, as soon as I took the job I got an interview and a job teaching art history at a community college.

It would seem the same might be happening here in DC. After putting out tons of resumes to community colleges, museums, and even administrative postions at universities I got no call backs and decided to give up home and take a job at Barnes & Noble. My orientation was yesterday and I've never felt so old or unfullfilled. But I decided I could put up with it since at least I'd get a kick ass discount, right? Well during the orinetation I got a call from one of the community colleges I applied to wanting me to come in for an interview!!!

So I had to blow off my B&N trainging for today in order to drive to the interview and get this job! Oh, I hope I get this job! So wish me luck that history might repeat itself and I'll be teaching art history instead of "learning" to file books in alphabetical order...(if they hired me, shouldn't I already know how to do that?!)

I was always bad at Tag

I was tagged by HotBabe. I'm going to do my best to keep the game going...

"List ten songs that you are currently digging ... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're no good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog. Then tag five other people to see what they're listening to."

1. Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz: It always makes me want to shake my ass. Thus I listen to it while I work out.

2. Don't Let me be Misunterstood by Santa Esmeralde from the Kill Bill vol. 1 sndtrk.: This is a great escape song for me. I imagine myself in that red dress Jennifer Lopez wears in The Wedding Planner dancing at a fancy party. Alas...I don't have the red dress or a fancy party...oh, and I can't dance.

3. Sexx Laws by Beck. Because Beck is awesome is this song is so much fun.

4. Don't Funk with my Heart by The BlackEyed Peas. 'Cause I like it. I just do.

5. Sex Bomb by Tom Jones. Because it's hilarious and reminds me of my first trip to Paris...long story. Plus I've always wanted to go to a Tom Jones concert and through my undies at him.

6. Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkston. I don't know how I got hooked on this but it happened. But I hate the fact that they just use a "U" instead of You. I just realized this. I might knock this song off my mp3 just for that reason.

7. Somebody Told Me by The Killers. I might become a fan of The Killers since I like Mr. Brightside as well. But I still haven't officially decided. It's not one of those things I like to rush into.

8. Best of You by the Foo Fighters. Excellent song. I've heard the Foo Fighters are touring with Weezer-I really want tickets to that show.

9. Rock the Casbah by The Clash. I am always into this song. I love it.

10. Float On by Modest Mouse. I know it's old now but I still heart Moderst Mouse.

Okay, now I tag 5 people, right? Hey, Stacy, Colleen, Diane, DC Donut, and AB aka Anasazi, you're it!!!

We Have a Winner!

The Birthday Showdown is officially over and the results are in: Zak won.
Here's why-

12:00 AM: Zak starts out early. Suggests that I wear a nightgown to bed rather than my treasured cat pajamas. Since it's technically his birthday and I'm still feeling nice at this moment I oblige. I wake up at 2 AM sweating with the nightgown wrapped aorund my neck. (1pt-Zak)

7:00 AM: Am awaken by the sound of the phone ringing. It is Zak's parents calling way to early again to wish Zak and Happy Birthday. (1pt-Zak)

7:15 AM: Am reawaken by the sounds of everything falling in our hall closet due to Zak looking for the iron and ironing board. Actually get up to help and am roped into doing the ironing for him. (2pts-Zak)

7:20 AM: Am cranky and mean and hurl insults like "wanker" and "rat bastard" even though it's his birthday. Also try to make iron burns on his shirt but it doesn't work. (1pt-Lynne, for effort)

7:30AM-6:00 PM: Zak has to go to work and I get the place to myself. Eventhough I do work as well I consider the fact that I get to watch tv and finish off the Cheetos a victory on my part. (2pts-Lynne)

6:00 PM: Pick Zak up at the metro for his birthday and allow him to decide where we'll go for dinner. He doesn't know yet and decides to "just drive" one of my most hated phrases. (10pts-Zak)

6:30 PM: Finally find a possible place. Walk up to door, see menu, see that no menu item are less than $30. Leave. Am humiliated. (1pt-Zak)

6:35 PM: Drive down to Bethesda, an area I despise going to eat because it's always packed. Drive around for a half an hour starving while we try to find a parking spot. I finally snarl about just leaving so we do. (pts are a wash)

8:00 PM: finally drive back to downtown Silver Spring, find a parking spot, and Zak finds a weird Lebaneese cafe to go to. Yay. Lebaneese. The food is okay but I do have the best Hummus I've ever had there. Even so...it's Lebaneese. (5pts-Zak)

8:45 PM: Don't even get Cold Stone Creamery or any other special sweet treat out of the deal since Zak wants to skip it. (20pts-Zak)

9:00 PM: Luckily I had bought ice cream for such emergency that day at the store. Am saved. (5pts-Lynne)

9:05 PM: Watch Zak's chosen video. Hide and Seek with Bobby DiNero and Dakota Fanning. It's scary. (1pt-Zak)

10:00 PM: Discover half way through that I had called the plot twist when we'd originally saw the theatrical trailers and ruined it for Zak. (3pts-Lynne)

11:00 PM: Watch Iron Chef after the movie. (again, pts a wash since we both enjoy the show).

12:00 PM: Go to Bed. (1 pt-Zak since I wasn't tired yet)

So, as you can see. Zak made me a lot more miserable than I made him. I'm going to have to get some good ideas from everyone so I'm a shoe in for the gold next year.

A Very Fine Birthday

The Zak vs. Lynne birthday battle isn't quite done yet (the final showdown is tomorrow night) but here is how the points stand thus far:

8:45 AM: Lynne still sleeping...even the cat knows it's a special day and has foregone usually 6 AM meow session. (1 pt-Lynne)

9:00 AM: Phone call from the in-laws. Too early and they ask about non-existent job and unfinshed thesis papers. (1 pt-Zak)

9:45 AM: Intense workout. Run for 30 min. and tons of situps while blaring music. Neighbors do not complain. (1 pt-Lynne)

10:30 AM: Check mail. Three birthday cards, two of which contain money, and newest X-files DVD. (2 pts-Lynne)

10:30 AM: Two birthday cards for Zak, both of which contain money. (1.5 pts-Zak)

10:35 AM: Shower. (No points given for good hygine-it's a reward in itself)

11:00 AM: Phone call from Mom. She tells me to give Zak birthday wishes from her meaning she probebly won't call on his birthday. Proof she loves me more. (1 pt-Lynne) But she calls during Gilmore Girls (1 pt-Zak).

11:30 AM: Take self out to lunch. Sushi (1 pt- Lynne)

12:00 PM: Return home and blog. Find tons of birthday greetings from Blog friends (THANKS EVERYONE!) (10 pts-Lynne)

1:00 PM: Get positive e-mail from professor regarding thesis. (5 pts-Lynne)

1:15 PM: Watch movie. Return to Me with David Duchovny. (2 pts-Lynne)

3:00 PM: Blog and e-mail more.

4:00 PM: Phone call from Zak telling me he's actually comming home early. (1 pt-Lynne)

5:00 PM: Gilmore Girls and X-files reruns (1pt-Lynne)

6:00 PM: Zak gets home and finds out I've decided I want to go to Chipotle for dinner...again. Zak whines and says "again!" (1 pt-Lynne)

6:15 PM: Actually get Zak to spring for chips, salsa, and my own drink. (2 pts-Lynne)

6:30 PM: Eventhough I've already eaten my weight in burritos, chips, and soda, decide a Dairy Queen Double fudge cookie dough Blizzard could really hit the spot. Zak complains that he's too full and begs to wait till tomorrow to get it. I whine about needed a sweet treat on my birthday and get my way. (1 pt-Lynne)

7:00 PM: Complain the whole way home about my tummy ache from eating my weight in Blizzard. (1 pt-Lynne)

7:30 PM: Return home and watch 4 hours of X-files. (1 pt-Lynne)

9:23 PM: Zak's grandparents call during the X-files marathon to wish me a happy birthday. (pts are a wash for this one)

11:00 PM: Force Zak to play his most hated game, Scatagories, until we couldn't hear the timer over his whining and crying. Beat him soundly. (1 pt-Lynne)

11:55 PM: Force Zak to do as many meanial tasks in the last five minutes finishing every request with "for my birthday". (1 pt-Lynne)

What a let down. Now everything is back to normal for me. I had to do laundry today and cook dinner. I'm trying to prepare myself for the possible hell I might have to endure tomorrow. Details later...if I'm still alive!

It's My Party and I'll Make You Cry if I Want to

My birthday is coming up! Actually Zak's birthday is coming up too. I'll be turning 26 on the 8th and he'll be turning 26 on the 10th.
It's quite nice having our birthdays so close together-each year it feels like a mini-holiday just for us. However, recently it seems we've developed a bad habit with our mini-holiday: trying to make the other miserable on our birthdays. Really, it's the only day of the year that we can pick exactly what we want to do and the other must accommadate with minimal complaint. So now it's become somewhat of a challenge. Just how many things can I force Zak to do, things he'll hate, on the 8th? And just how many things will he get me to do?

I still haven't decided what havoc I'll wreak quite yet but my brain is working over time. I know I want to go to dinner…but what restaurant will he hate most? Chipotle…since we go there all the time and he’s sick of it? Something expensive? The Medieval Times place that I’ve always wanted to go to?...that would kill two birds with one stone since it’s expensive and possibly embarrassing. And what to do for dessert? They have a new cookie dough blizzard at Dairy Queen but that seems a little low brow when I should be taking full advantage. Maybe Cold Stone Creamery? Or maybe I should request a home made cake…I should put him in contact with Stacy since she’s the queen of cake making.

And then we have activities…so many to choose from. Should I force him to watch old episodes of X-files and Gilmore Girls? It’s sure to get some whining. Or perhaps going to see March of the Penguins which I’ve been wanting to see ever since Christine posted about it. Oh! And definitely a couple of rounds of Scategories, his most hated game because I always win. Hmmmm... all sounds so good.

But there is also a dilemma to all this...since his birthday is last, pay backs could be hell. Am I willing to take the risk? Yeah, I think I am. Let the birthday games begin.