Creepy, Huh

creepy, huh 

My sister sent this to me from the newspaper in our home town. Apparently the advertising for Vacation Bibile School has taken a little turn towards the weird and creepy.
Yikes! I don't know what it is about this drawing but it feaks the hell out of me.

It just seems so Texas Chainsaw Masacre with the ranch/farm theme. Plus I think the drawing is supposed to be of a puppet and I don't like puppets. Anyway, it just makes me nervous and I can't beleive some nice person at, what I'm sure is a very loving church, would think this is an okay way to entice parents to bring in their kids.

And another thing, it's Vacation Bibile School. I hated vacation bible school. Does any one else have as horrible memories of it as I do? What torture. It's finally summer and I don't have to be forced to go to regular school and my parents think I need BIBLE school.

The food always sucked-it was usually hot dogs and a bowl of communal chips that I always steared clear of after seeing all the dirty, fithy hands dip into it. And the craft projects! Dear Lord the craft projects. How many yarn crosses does one need?

And our church had this horribly unsafe play area that they would dump us out into the 100 degree sun when they were through dealing with us. Instead of grass, or even cement, they added large gravel rocks beneath the swings and teeter-totters. The swings and teeter-totters themselves were rust crusted so much that you could cut any bare part of your body. I wonder if they kept tenus shots on hand.

This clipping just brought back way too many bad memories.

Blockbuster better not screw me over

So I've finally succumb to signing up for one of those rental by mail thingies. I decided on Blockbuster rather than Netflix since I'm supposed to get free in-store rental coupons from the BB deal. Even though it sounds like a good enough deal I'm still skeptical. It always seems like these things could screw me over at any time.

But in the meantime (before the eventual disappointment sets in) it seems like a lot of fun. I'm excited I have my own queue. I'm always so curious to know what's on other people's queue...it could be some really weird stuff and no one would ever know.

Here's what on mine:

The X-files: complete seasons #3-7 (I'm concerned about putting tv seasons on my list. Are they going to send them in order? Or is that how they get their fun?)

The Gilmore Girls: complete seasons #1-3 (I didn't think I was going to need season one since ABC Family was supposed to play a season one marathon this past Sunday...but they skipped around! Who does that?! I'm totally lost...well not totally but still. Lorilei was hit on by one of the dads from the private school that Rory attends? Did she go out with him? I don't know and it's driving me nuts. Especially since the same actor played a super evil necropheliac on the X-files and I don't want her to date a weirdo. I'm not even sure if that guy was "acting"...he's that weird. Stupid ABC Family.)

The Life Aquatic

The Aviator

I heart huckabees

and Porn...

Ha, just kidding. But I could now if I wanted to 'cause now no one would ever know.

Stacy and Lynne Like Lists

Jess, Me, Mandy 

Since Stacy did another 100 list, well, that means I have to 'cause I like to copy her.

I've decided to write a mesely 50 things and they are going to be about the Lynne of Yesteryear. I just realized my 10 year high schoo reunion is comming up. And when I say comming up I mean in about 2 years but I'm already freaking out because I'm really dreading it.

So in an attempt to use my blog as therapy here are 50 things about high school Lynne/things I did in high school/things I liked and hated in high school/etc.

1. Despite my the current shape my body was in, I was actually quite sporty in high school. I played Basketball, Volleyball, Softball, and ran Cross-Country.

2. I actually only ran Cross-Country one year because it conincided with the basketball season.

3. Yup. I did them at the same time my senior year. One night I ran a X-Country race and then played in a basketball game.

4. I was stupid in high school.

5. I played trumpet in the band.

6. I was bad at it.

7. I think it was because instead of a real trumpet my dad bought me a second-rate coronet. It's pretty much the same instrument but the psychological effects are undeniable.

8. The pictures above are of me and my two best friends in high school.

9. Jessica was better than me at trumnpet playing and Mandy was better than me at Volleyball.

10. I was the Vice President of my class. I don't know why. I didn't do anything. But this means I'll probebly have to be involved in the planning of the dreaded reunion.

11. I was on the homecomming court twice and I wore the same dress both times-gasp!

12. I only had 30 people in my graduating class-15 guys, 15 girls. Which I think explains #11.

13. I never dated in hich school until my senior year.

14. He was a year younger and he treated my poorly.

15. I skipped school...a lot.

16. I would sleep in and just go into school at 4th hour or go in on time and leave early.

17. If I had to stay there the whole day I would tell the teacher I forgot something in my car and I'd leave and go to the local gas station to buy skittles.

18. I didn't go to any real parties until senior year.

19. All the parties were in the woods-so the cops wouldn't find us drinking.

20. My friends and I would go paint other school's rocks before games. (do other state's schools have rocks?)

21. I got Ds in every math class.

22. I got kicked out of geometry class for talking too much.

23. I got kicked out of French class for talking too much.

24. This happened so much that my teacher would just send us to the library to do our work.

25. I got kicked out of the library for talking too loud.

26. I bought school lunch.

27. I picked up pop cans to buy gas. (yeah, gas used to be that cheap! I miss that!)

28. My first car was a 1984 Mazda that was super rusted, the doors didn't lock, and the gas gauge was broken.

29. My cousin and I skipped school once to buy homecomming dresses and it broke down about 70 miles from my house.

30. My parents were pissed when they had to come get us.

31. The next car I had was great. Then a drunk driver hit it. (If you look closely at the picture of me in the volleyball uniform you can see the bruises on my knees from the accident.)

32. During summers my friends would come to my place. We'd crank up the AC and sit around in sweat pants, sweat shirts, and blankets.

33. My first job was at an Ice Cream shop hooked to a convience store.

34. It was called the bear store and it actaully had a bear.

35. I always plotted to set it free. Mostly because all they fed the poor bear was expired bread and donuts from the store.

36. I think that bear died and they got a new one.

37. My parents always forced me to mow the lawn and I despised them for it. This is because our "lawn" was about 2 acres and required a tractor.

38. The tractor broke down constantly because it was so old. It was also so old that it was pink instead of it's original red.

39. I had an English class with someone from jail. They let him out to go to school.

40. That same english class had a guy who always came in high. He'd sit next to me and copy off me.

41. My friend Jennifer and I used to call a group of 4 guys the "Pansey Patrol".

42. This wasn't really mean. They all wore the same shirt to school one day and totally deserved it.

43. My favorite bands in high school were the Beatles, the Doors, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Smashing Pumpkins.

44. Our high school lunch lady was mean. (She's now Jessica's mother in law! ha!)

45. I wasn't popular but I was okay with it.

46. I'm pretty sure my biology teacher would leave class to go smoke. He'd disappear for about 20 minutes and return with blookshot eyes and smelly.

47. He then became the P.E. teacher. We played ping pong for an entire semester.

48. I fought with my mom constantly during high school.

49. I don't ever remember studying in high school but I still got okay grades.

50. I graduated in 1997.

Whew. That was tough. I'm sure I remember more than that but...who cares. It was sucky, sucky high school.

I Need Nunchuck Skills

I've always wanted to take some type of martial arts class for fun but now I've decided it's a neccessity. It obviously increases a person's confidence level by 200%.

I think this because I took a visit to American U today to fill out some school paperwork and as I walked by the library there was a guy walking and practicing some sort of Tai Chi or Judo moves simultaneously-flailing arms and sounds effects and everything.

How do you get that kind of confidence? To just walk, flailing your arms about yelling "Hiyyyyya!" Can I do it without taking a class? Does it require massive amounts of alcohol before hand? Either way, I'm willing to participate.

ps-Maybe I don't have any confidence because I'm truely an idiot. My entire life I thought is was nuMchucks until now, when I googled the world to make sure I spelled it correctly on my blog and found it's actually nuNchucks!

It's Been Nice Knowing You...

I just got my cell phone bill. It wasn't pretty-the damage was $260.00!!! Now I have to make sure I keep it hidden from Zak or you'll never hear from me again.

But I refuse to take total responsibility for this. It was his idea to get the voice-over IP system which took an extra long time to get here and set up because he accidently sent it to the wrong address thus leaving me with no form of communication except my cell phone. But I guess it was my fault that, even though I knew I was over my free minutes, I still proceeded to call friends and family during peak hours.

Even so, a person is allowed one horrendous phone bill in one's lifetime, right? I've always been good so this, I feel, is justified. I knew someone in high school who racked up an $800.00 phone bill...at least I'm not THAT bad.

Nervous Tummy

A good trip to Minneaplolis must be good luck-I had a message about a job interview as soon as I got back.
I hate interviews though so maybe it was really bad luck. I never know what they're going to ask and I especially hate deciding what to wear. The interview was yesterday and I had the worst nervous stomach the whole day. Which reminds me, I also hate when interviews are in the afternoon versus the morning because I hate having all day to be worried and anal.

I think it went okay. I was fairly articulate. Except I do find that when I'm nervous I talk really fast and then abruptly stop and then clam up. It's a weird combination. But perhpas the worst part about the interview was the fact that I was dying of heat stroke! Of course the day I have an interview there has to be a heat advisory. Despite the heat I still had to wear my heavy black suit with the satin lining that forms an inpenatrable barrier once it bonds with gallons of sweat. It was disgusting. And of course that, coupled with taking public transportaion to the site assured that I had a nice funk that no perfume could mask.

So if they're looking for a stinky, sweaty shy fast talker...well, I'm their girl.

A Group Unlike Any Other

... 

I have yet to purchase a digital camera so I don't have any fun pictures to post of the wonderful people I met in Minneapolis but I'm sure it would look like this anyway. This weekend I had the pleasure of meeting HotBabe (and her roommate Jason), Stacy, PlanetDan (and his roommate K-Mack), Kiddo78 (and his friends Mandy and Tom), and BigDubb (and his wife Erin).

I had so much fun and everyone was so nice and they really are even funnier in person.
Friday I left DC at 6:30 am and arrived in Minneapolis at 12:30. HotBabe was kind enough to pick me up and let me stay at her place for the weekend. Let me tell you, it's a nice place to stay. Working air conditioner, comfy mattress, and instead of measly mints on your pillow you get a two litre of soda and a box of chocolates. I give it 5 stars.

Then I got to meet Stacy, who is so sweet, smart, and funny. But she's a bit of a liar. She kept telling me she was a bad conversationalists but she's really not. She can talk about anything at length and it's never boring. She also has an obsession with Irish music, which I am totally okay with since I love it too. She can also dance a pretty mean jig once you get a couple waters into her.
We went shopping in St. Paul and then met PlanetDan and his roomate Kris for dinner and drinks.
I can't say enough nice things about Dan and Kris. They were so nice and SO FUNNY!! And I'm not saying that just because they bought me dinner and many, many drinks.

Kiddo and his friends joined us next and we all went to various bars in St. Paul. Kiddo and his friends were also so nice and so funny. And again, I'm not just saying that because they bought me dinks too. The MN bloggers can sure play a mean game of bocce ball which is what we did until our teams started to disband due to injuries, beer/shot runs, and the need to make-out.

Then we all decided it was time to part. I said my goodbyes and HotBabe, Stacy, and I drove home. But not before a quick run to Burger King where HotBabe scored us free fries due to her heightened flirting abilities. No wonder the guy was in jail and on work release-I bet it wasn't the first time he'd stolen from his employer to give to a car full of drunk girls.

Saturday I woke up feeling pretty ill so HotBabe let me nap all day until Stacy joined us and we went to the infamous Mall of America. What can say...it's huge. Lots of fun stores including a place you can get fancy Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches. I was impressed. Then we went to a Greek Restaurant and stayed out way too late chating and laughing.

Sunday we got up and Stacy, HotBabe, and I met BigDubb and his wife at the Walker Gallery and Sculpture Garden. We saw wonderful works by some of my favorite artists such as Adrian Piper, Frank Stella, Amsel Kiefer, Robert Motherwell, and Mark Rothko. I enjoyed myself as I admired and bored all the others with my art history chit chat.
Then we went for ice cream at a yummy place BigDubb knew of. So good!!

My wonderful (and long awaited) trip the Blogger capitol of the world was sadly comming to an end. HotBabe took me to lunch and then we stopped by PlanetDan's (and Kris's) home (which is absolutly beautiful!) and I got to see where Dan writes all his hilarious posts (the highlight of the tour).

Then it was off to the airport. And now, I'm back in DC, still on a high due to all the wonderful people I met and the great things I did.

Thanks everybody. I had the best time!

I think my Roller Derby name would be Red Pepper

The fishnet tights are a nice feminine touch. 

I watched a story on CNN tonight about Roller Derby groups (such as this one)and I've decided I have to find a team in the area. I would be so good at this.

I miss roller skating. I used to do it all the time as a kid. My friends and I used to go to the local tennis courts (which were always empty since no one in my tiny town played tenis) and we'd take them over and use them as a skating rink. I even had a kick ass pair of skates that I had spray painted silver.

Of course you have to have a tough nickname to be on a roller derby team. The toughest I could think of was Red Pepper due to my red hair. Sure it doesn't sound so tough but if you really think about it...have you even chopped peppers and then touched your eyes. Whew. Watch out. That can smart for a couple hours!

I Heart Slatedotcom

My husband has totally got me addicted to reading Slate Magazine online. Recently they had this article about inappropriate songs used in advertisments (such as CCR's anti-war "Fortunate Son" to sell jeans for uber-patriotic Wrangler and Tommy Hillfiger).

This reminded me of a game Zak and I like to play whenever we go to weddings which is to name to most inappropriate wedding songs (as well as to see what other inappropriate songs that people actually play).
So far out top 5 inappropriate wedding songs that we have yet to hear are:
"Better Man" by Pearl Jam
"Girls, Girls, Girls" by Motley Crue
"Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N Roses
"Freebird" by Lynnard Skynnard
and "Tempted by the Fruit of Another" by Squezze.

The top 5 inappropriat songs we've actually heard at a wedding are:
"When Two Become One" by the Spice Girls (was played at my cousins wedding as they walked down the aisle after the ceremony. Look, I know you're going to do it tonight. I don't want to thing about it)
"Bohemian Rapsedy" by Queen (which was somehow palyed at my own reception and my in-laws tried to waltz to it)
"Way Down Yonder on the Chattahoochie" by Alan Jackson (because country sucks and it has the verse "hotter than a hoochie coochi". Gross)
"The Hokey Pokey" ('cause there's just something weird about sticking your whole self in)
"Everybody Dance Now" by C+C Music Factory (Not that it's really inappropriate but during my friends wedding her grandfather did dance to this in a wifebeater and tried to freak my sister and that's super inappropriate).

This is really a fun game. I suggest you try it the next time you're stuck at a crazy wedding.

I'm suprised I don't walk in constant circles...

I know that everyone technically has one foot that is larger than the other but I now believe mine are grossly disproportionate. On Friday I found some cute shoes at Macy's that I decided to purchase for my upcomming trip to Minniapolis. I tried on the 8 1/2 and the 9. After walking aroung the place with both 9s on my feet I decided they were too big and the 8 1/2 must be the best fit. So I put one of the 8 1/2s on my feet and it fit like a glove. So I bought those. I did not realize my mistake untill I had them home and put on both. While the 8 1/2 fit perfectly on my left foot it was super tight on my right hoof! So now I have to try and stretch the right show so my toes don't scruntch up and I can stop limping when I wear them.
And of course I'm too stubborn to try and take them back or not wear them. Hell no! I'm wearing these shoes this Friday come Hell or high water.

Do Not Read if You Still Enjoy Salad-in-a-Bag

I'm so sad. One of the only ways I eat healthy is through pre-packaged bag salad and now that has been ruined. Today I made a nice salad with dinner and was happily enjoying it when I happened across a dead lady-bug mid bite. Well, I don't know if they're really ladybugs-it was one of those weird orange ones. It was all curled up as if it had succumb to suffocation-probebly due to being packaged into an airtight bag.
It's weird how those bugs seem to pop up everywhere. My run-in reminds me of the first time my sister-in-law visited my home town. Luckily I wasn't there to witness this or I'd never be able to eat stove top stuffing again. (I think you know where I'm going with this.) My parents were going to my Aunt and Uncle's house for Thanksgiving dinner so my brother and sister-in-law had to go along. It was really the worst place for a first visit since we've always had a sibling "rule" to never eat anything that has been made in their house. Anyways. There were those weird lady-bug thingys covering the stuffing and no one noticed except my poor, poor sister-in-law.
So that's all it takes to put me off salad (and stuffing). I'm either going to have to stop being so lazy and actually use real lettuce and make salads myself or find another way to balance my diet.
Stupid fake ladybugs.